Breathe Again: A Love Story Read online

  Lucy wasn’t actually in this one; she was just at the premiere because she was a good friend of Jackson’s. As I watched his performance on the big screen, I couldn’t help but be proud at all that he had accomplished in his twenty-seven short years of life. Not all of his movies were Oscar contenders, but they were all entertaining. This one, specifically, was a thriller based on a popular novel from the previous year. He played a husband accused of killing his wife, and I actually sat on the edge of my seat waiting to find out what happened. I clutched Jackson’s hand throughout the climax, and let out an audible sigh of relief when I realized that Jackson, or his character Max, didn’t actually do it.

  “You were amazing,” I leaned over the armrest so I could whisper in Jackson’s ear as the credits started rolling. His name was first, which sent little chills of satisfaction run up my spine.

  “Thanks baby,” Jackson whispered back, and he slipped his hand behind my head to pull me in for a kiss. Thankfully the lights were still out, or I’m sure I would have been embarrassed at our public display of affection in front of everyone.

  We got up once the lights came back on, and the producers thanked us all for coming. Jackson had one last interview before we could go, but this one wasn’t going to be on camera, just for print. I was thankful I wasn’t going to have my picture taken anymore that night, especially since I hadn’t really had a chance to fix up my makeup since we got into the theater.

  The reporter had secured a quiet corner of the lobby, with a couch and a few chairs, to do the interview in. Sharon ushered us over to where he already sat, but I chose to remain standing farther away from them. I was exhausted, and definitely ready to get out of my enormous shoes.

  Lucy came and found me while Jackson was being interviewed, to say goodbye, and I noticed that she swayed a little bit as she came in for a hug. Jude had a hand on her elbow, steadying her, and I was grateful she would have someone to take care of her that night, even if it was him. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and they both left out the doors we entered in from.

  I waited for Jackson, leaning against the wall and checking my phone for messages. The only one was from Darcy, of course, telling me that I better call her that night to tell her every single detail or she’d never speak to me again. I laughed, and just texted her back saying I’d talk to her in the morning. I was too busy typing that I didn’t notice someone else come up to me until they said my name.

  “Hello Mellie.” I immediately recognized Sophia’s smooth, if not a bit nasally, voice. I hadn’t seen her all night; to be honest, I hadn’t even known she was coming. She wasn’t in the movie either, but she was a friend of Jackson’s as well, so it shouldn’t have surprised me.

  “Hi Sophia,” I said, my voice shaking slightly. She’d never actually talked to me personally before, so I was surprised that she even approached me.

  “How was your first premiere? Not too overwhelming, I hope.” I knew the question didn’t need to be condescending, but Sophia definitely made it seem that way. I shook my head, partially to answer her question and partially to just clear my mind of all the insecurities that had immediately overcome me the moment she opened her mouth.

  “Not at all. It was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be, though I am ready to get home and go to bed. Smiling and posing really is kind of exhausting.”

  Sophia gave me a strange look, a kind of smug smile. “I hear you on that. It’s especially tiring when you’re forced to answer the same mundane questions over and over again. Not to mention the prying into our personal lives. I know Jackson would agree with me when I say that they really just need to get over themselves.”

  I nodded slowly, suddenly uncomfortable at the tone of the conversation. She knew what it was like, and I felt like an idiot for acting like I did too.

  She glanced over where Jackson was still sitting with the reporter. “Tell him goodnight for me, will you? I’m ready to get out of here too.”

  “Of course. Have a good night Sophia,” I said. I knew my voice was small and unsure, but I didn’t have the energy to fake anything right then.

  Sophia just nodded, then turned on her heels (which may have been even taller than mine, if that were possible). I let out a breath of relief just as Jackson wrapped up the last of his interview. He stood up and took my hand, and we headed back out of the theater to the crowd and into the waiting limousine.

  Chapter 24

  I stayed at Jackson’s apartment that night, of course. We got back after midnight, but both Jackson and I were too wired to go to sleep right away. The exhaustion I felt before leaving the theater was replaced by a buzzing energy, and the realization that I actually did do it, as we drove home.

  We barely make it in the door before we were ripping each other’s clothes off, and I felt only slightly concerned when Jackson let my designer dress fall to the floor. We left a trail of clothing and undergarments as we made our way to the bedroom, and our love making was anything but tender and sweet. It was passionate, full of adrenaline and excitement. It was also hurried, our energy quickly depleting with every labored breath and strong thrust. We fell asleep in each other’s arms, a content smile on both of our faces.

  I woke up before Jackson did, to the morning light pouring in through the bedroom’s tall windows. I placed a quick kiss on Jackson’s forehead, and let myself watch his sleeping face for a few seconds, before swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I’d long ago become used to staying naked in the bedroom, but I still couldn’t bring myself to walk around in the nude in the other parts of the apartment. Jackson’s dress shirt lay in a heap on the carpet near the door, so I threw it on and headed out to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

  “Good morning Mellie.”

  I’m pretty sure I jumped three feet in the air when I heard the stranger’s voice in the apartment. I seen anyone when I walked out, and I definitely hadn’t heard anyone come in earlier in the morning. I turned toward the breakfast bar, and saw a middle-aged woman with olive colored skin and a short, severe haircut. She was beautiful, and kind of terrifying at the same time.

  She was Jackson’s manager, Teresa Hume. I’d only seen her once, a few months prior, when she stopped by the apartment to drop a script for Jackson. She hadn’t even acknowledged me then, though I shouldn’t have been surprised that she knew my name now.

  “Hello,” I said, frozen to my spot in the middle of the kitchen. I was all too aware that the only thing covering my naked body was Jackson’s dress shirt, and I silently thanked the universe that it hung almost down to my thighs. I wanted to bolt in the other direction, at least go put on a pair of pants (if not hide in Jackson’s closet completely), but couldn’t move my legs.

  “I assumed you would be here this morning, after last night’s…event, but Jackson wasn’t answering his phone and I really need to talk to him about something.”

  I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but it was too dry for words. Instead, I just nodded slowly, my eyes wide, and tried to force my legs into moving into the bedroom.

  Teresa Hume was entirely intimidating. I knew, from stories that Jackson had told me, that she was ruthless, though her main priority really was her clients. She’d been a model once, which wasn’t surprising given her nearly six foot stature and piercing green eyes, but was far too ambitious to just be cast aside when she was deemed “too old” by her own agency. She was practically a legend in the film industry now, and every actor and actress wanted her managing them, but she’d chosen Jackson. They’d been working together ever since she decided to take a chance on him when he was only sixteen years old.

  I turned, and clutched the bottom of the shirt while I walked, hoping that nothing was peeking out. I was almost in the clear, at the edge of the kitchen, when her voice rang out again.

  “Mellie, have you had a chance to read the news this morning yet?”

  I turned back to where she sat at the counter, and shook my head. She smiled, though it wasn’t a
kind smile. She had this harsh face, beautiful of course, but mean, like she knew she was at the top of the world and everyone else was below her. I wasn’t sure if I had ever felt so small.

  She reached into her bag, and pulled out a stack of papers, sliding them toward me on the counter. I eyed them suspiciously, knowing that nothing in them could be good. I knew what she was trying to do, and I knew that she wasn’t trying to keep me with Jackson. This was her tactic, her way of testing me to see if I could actually handle it.

  “Let me get Jackson for you,” I said quietly. I grabbed the papers off the counter, before making my way back into the bedroom to wake him up. I put the papers down on the bedside table, and moved to his side of the bed and to shake him awake. He grunted, and rolled over away from me. “Jackson,” I said, now kneeling on the bed so I could reach him. “Teresa is here, she wants to talk to you.”

  He turned back over to me, and cracked open an eye. “Please don’t tell me you just said Teresa is here right now.”

  “I did just say that Teresa is here, and you should probably get up and go talk to her. She scares me.”

  Jackson pulled me down on the bed with him. “Don’t be scared Mellie Rose. Her bark is much, much worse than her bite. Did she say something to you?” He was stroking my hair back from my face and nuzzling my neck, making me giggle.

  “No, she didn’t say anything. I just get the feeling that she doesn’t like me. Oh, and I went out there almost naked, not realizing that she was here, so there’s that too. She probably thinks I’m a skanky skank right now.”

  Jackson burst out laughing. “You are not a skanky skank Mellie Rose. She’s just used to coming and going as she pleases, I’ve never really had anybody over at my apartment before you.”

  I sighed. “I know, but would you just go out there and talk to her? I’m going to stay in here, take a shower so we can actually do something today.” Jackson looked at me hungrily, as if he were about to pounce on me. The thought of what he had in mind made my heart race (in the best way possible), but I pushed it away. “You need to get out there, and then we can talk about what we’ll be doing later.”

  “Talk? Who needs to talk when we can just be naked at home all day?”

  I pushed him out of bed this time, trying not to let out my schoolgirl giggle. I wouldn’t mind that either, but he needed to go talk to scary Teresa. “Go,” I said, using all my strength to shove him out of bed. I barely moved him an inch, but he finally relented and stood up.

  “Fine, I’ll go. But you better still be here, in that shirt and nothing else, when I get back.” He put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before finally leaving me alone in the bedroom.

  I looked over to where I’d set the papers that Teresa had brought over on the nightstand. I knew that there was probably nothing good in them, but I had a sense of morbid curiosity. Maybe I was just hoping that my impression of Teresa was off, that she’d share both the good and the bad with me, but I wouldn’t know unless I actually looked through the papers.

  I pulled them off the bedside table, and placed them in my lap. The stack was pretty large, held together with a binder clip, and I could tell from the top sheet that they were all printouts of articles from the internet. I unclipped them, and kept the top sheet in my hand while putting the rest next to me on the bed.

  The first article was from a major entertainment site, and the first thing I noticed was a photo of Jackson and I on the red carpet from the night before. I was staring at him with some pathetic puppy dog look, and it didn’t even seem like he was paying attention to me. Instead, he was staring off in the opposite direction, at something out of the camera’s frame. It wasn’t the worst photo in the world, but I still looked like some pathetic lovesick girl, vying for Jackson’s attention.

  Jackson Traver Steps Out Onto Red Carpet with New Date

  Okay, so it could be worse? It was actually pretty innocuous, minus the indifference about our relationship, but we hadn’t really gotten into the details with anyone last night. Nobody asked, and I don’t think we were ready to tell them, anyway. What was I supposed to say if they asked? Yeah, this is the love of my life, Jackson, and he just so happens to be the most famous guy in the world. You might not believe it, but he loves me too and we’ll hopefully be together for ever and ever.

  Call me naïve, but I at least figured that being seen in public with someone, holding hands and kissing, especially when that someone is an international superstar, meant that there was something more than just a platonic relationship. Jackson wasn’t known for bringing random girls out in public with him either, but they either didn’t know or didn’t care enough to say it.

  I set the first page down, and moved onto the next. This one did make me cringe.

  Jackson Traver Ditches Sophia Lewis for a Nobody Fling

  Jackson and Sophia were seen together leaving an intimate dinner with their Pieces of Us cast members on Saturday night, but apparently that didn’t deter him from bringing a new girl to his Stand Alone premiere last night. Sources close to the couple say that Mellie Rose, or Melanie Devlin, is just a temporary distraction for Jackson.

  “He’s upset at Sophia for some of the rumors she started last spring about their relationship, and he doesn’t really want to be seen with her in public right now. He met Mellie recently, and they’ve been hiding out ever since, but nobody really thinks it’s going anywhere; it’s just a fun distraction for Jackson who’s been working a lot of long hours on his new set and promoting Stand Alone.

  Yeah, that one stung. Right below the photo of Jackson and I at the premiere last night was an even bigger one of him and Sophia coming out of Ottavia on Saturday night, his hand around her wait and waving at the cameras. I had known exactly what was going to go down when I sent them outside together, but I had purposefully stayed away from the internet, so I wouldn’t know exactly what people were staying. Here I was though, torturing myself with words by people who didn’t even know me, or Jackson really. That didn’t stop me from continuing through the stack.

  It was really just more of the same, some of them mentioning Sophia, and some of them just speculating on who exactly I was. I really hoped that nobody would find out how we actually met, but it was doubtful. Someone would come forward, someday, telling the story of how I dropped a cake all over myself in front of Jackson. I knew I shouldn’t have been embarrassed at this point; Jackson and I laughed about that day all the time, but we laughed about it together. If anyone else knew, they would be laughing at me.

  Just as I anticipated, there were no positive articles in the stack. Some commented, saying I wasn’t pretty enough for Jackson, that I seemed arrogant and didn’t belong on the red carpet. Those didn’t actually hurt as bad as the ones who suggested that I, as a person, not just because of what I looked like, wasn’t good enough for him. I couldn’t really care less if they liked my lipstick or my hair or my dress. It was when they said that Jackson deserved better than just a nobody baker.

  I thumbed through the rest, not really reading the second half. I was tired, my mind numb from the terrible grammar and misinformed facts that these “reporters” felt the need to share. I tried not to let it get to me, really, but I felt my self-esteem plummet in just a matter of a few minutes. Jackson was still out in the kitchen, talking to Teresa, which left me all alone to stew in the bitterness of the outside world that had somehow managed to make its way into our safe home.

  I knew that he wanted me to stay in bed and wait for him, but I was growing restless. I didn’t want to just wallow in self-pity; I needed to do something, get my mind off of all the evil terrible things that were floating around in my head.

  I decided a shower was exactly what I needed; to clean off the grime of the night before, and start the day new. I headed into the bathroom, and pulled Jackson’s shirt off over my head before turning the water on. As much as I loved my pretty bathtub, I never missed a chance to use Jackson’s massive, spa-like shower. I didn’t have to worry about the
water running cold too quickly, or having to fold myself uncomfortably in the tub to wash my hair thoroughly.

  Unfortunately, the shower didn’t distract me as much as I’d hoped. As I stood under the stream of water coming out through the faucet, I just got angry; angry that the media, that Teresa and all these people who didn’t know me or Jackson took that perfect night away from us. Last night was actually good! I was so happy when we actually got home, and so was Jackson. I felt like I belonged there, standing next to the man I loved. To me, it didn’t really matter if he acted or crunched numbers or even flipped burgers. I wanted to support him, to be there for him in life, and it just so meant that being there for him meant having my life scrutinized.

  I groaned, not really enjoying my shower anymore, so I just turned off the water and went to grab one of the towels that Jackson’s housekeeper kept next to the shower.

  Jackson was in the bathroom when I got out of the shower, an annoyed look on his face.

  “I thought I told you to stay in bed,” he growled, looking at me through narrowed eyes. Usually I would have played his game, feigning innocence and letting him take me in the bathroom, but I really wasn’t feeling it, so I just shrugged.

  “Mellie,” he said, his voice a question. He knew me better than anyone, so obviously he knew there was something wrong.

  “It’s nothing,” I said, wrapping one towel around myself while drying my hair with another. I turned to the sink so that I could brush my teeth, avoiding his gaze in the mirror behind me.

  “It’s obviously not nothing. What happened? Was it Teresa?” I shrugged again, continuing to brush my teeth. As soon as I spit into the sink, he had his arms on my shoulders and turned me around. “You can’t lie to me. There’s something wrong, and I want to know what it is.”

  “What did Teresa want this morning?” I asked, avoiding his question. I tried putting a smile on my face, but I knew it wouldn’t fool him.